NEW CAR!

I finally did it. Took a piece of me away to do it.

I gave up the OldsmoBuick of Doom.

Traded her in. She was sad. Much more later ...

Now proudly residing in Calftown ... The Impaler! Three years old, gleaming with just 20,000 miles, with a remote starter, windows that work, a gas gauge that works, everything that works!

Lotsa luv to Chris Quinn out at Shottenkirk for hooking me up with the new ride. Chris was professional, patient and worked with us to get a great deal, I highly recommend him if you are looking for a new car.

New Name or New Blog?

Tonight is the debut of the new-look Cheeseburgers in Marcelline, outside of Down On The Corner, 8:30 sharp.

We are new-look because we have sesame seeds in the buns now.

Had a suggestion to change the name of this blog, but once a Funion, always a Funion, I say.

Considering doing a separate Cheeseburgers blog as well.

Nervous about the debut. I'm sure it will be fine, though I think it will take a few shows to hit our stride, we play the next three weekends which will help. I have to pay a little more attention to minor details like, oh, I don't know — PLAYING THE RIGHT FREAKING CHORDS and remembering the words. You know, minor stuff.

As for what I am doing to get ready for the big gig, well, the photo of me and Bella The Destroyer says it all ....

Dreamin' of a Lake Michigan beach ....

My Uncle Peter lives near Holland, Mich. Every year I try to take some time off and hang out on his beach for a few days. It's a little slice of private heaven, a great place to just get away and not worry about anything.

If there's anything better than falling asleep to the sound of waves hitting the beach ....

Anyway, at top is a picture of his two grandsons, Josh and Drew, hitting the 40-degree lake a while back. The water is much warmer now!

So. I am patiently waiting for August to roll around.

Survival

It ain't all bad. Maybe the newspaper bidness will survive after all.

Click here for more.

New Name?

With all due respect to UMR, I'm not sure I will change the name of this blog. However, new suggestions are welcome. And I appreciate the kind words.

Being back at work after a week off is not much fun.

There. I feel better.

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do

The Funions are on hiatus. They are not dead.

But they will not be playing. Maybe for a while.

I didn't think this would be all that tough to do. I am joining another band. I am now a Cheeseburger. A Cheeseburger! Kirk Gribler, Burt Shackleton, Jeff VanKanegan, John Hodge. A really fun band that has played shows with the Funions. A while back they called and said they were going in a new direction. Would I be interested?

It's very different, being a Cheeseburger. I show up and play. They have gigs lined up, a place to practice, and it's a blast, I am enjoying it. The new songs (for me) are challenging but familiar, and this band is tight, really good musicians who can play. Our first show is June 19 in Marcelline, Down On The Corner, outside.

But it's hard to let go of The Funions. Dr. Mark Brei, Rev. Scott Snider, myself and Josh Kattleman started the band at First Union exactly 10 years ago. Is that possible? I can still see Joanne Bier and Biz McConnell, rocking out at the first service.

Many have come and gone from that original worship band incarnation — Devin Cashman and Jack Inghram were in on it. We used First and Union to make up Funions. We played one great show in the church parking lot and one bad show. We always had fun, even if nobody showed up, or if people complained after Easter Sunday about us playing that evil rock and roll in church.

Josh and I recorded the first CD at Copper Mine in 2001. For a while we treaded water. We did another CD with Jim Bier on guitar but only played once with him. Then Justin Busen on drums and David Steggeman on guitar joined and those were the best of times .... we wrote a lot of what became Just Pretending in Justin's basement on Monday nights, jamming away as his mom listened upstairs.

I wish we could have kept that lineup together, we had a few incredible shows with Justin and David. The photo at the top of the page was taken at the old cafe at the Crossing Church, our first show with Justin and David, and I can still remember the awesome feeling of playing original songs and having the small crowd get it.

Larry Flavell came along and we recorded Just Pretending at Copper Mine, some really good stuff. The Funions sort of morphed into a classic rock cover band, and there's nothing wrong with that, especially if you want to play.

Chris Cornwell was a huge part of the band for many years, as the amazing drummer for Just Pretending and Is this Appropriate, later on guitar. His father, Pat Cornwell, owns Vegas Music and we had some insanely fun times practicing in the back room.

I apologize to Adam Yates, The Might One, who joined last year. Adam is a musical talent who can play keyboards, drums, harmonica, sing ... He really got into it and made us a lot better. Our last show was at the the old firing range May 22 to celebrate him being promoted to Sgt. Yates and it was an awesome time. I hurt him when I said I was taking a break from The Funions, and I felt like crap afterwards.

Adam? I am sorry. You are talented and need to play. We can make that happen, perhaps on a mellower scale.

Dr. Brei, who I love like a brother and who refused to let the band die on numerous occasions, deserves all the credit. He was there for me during difficult personal times. Funions for life, Mark. Always.

To Jack Inghram and Rock A. Bye Johnny B, all the best. Jack's saxophone is the common denominator at all shows. Doesn't matter if you are a metal gear head or a classical music lover, the sax lures you in and makes you want to jump every single time. JB has provided guidance and kept me level-headed during tough times.

The Funions are not dead. Just resting. I know we will back. I promised a friend we'd be playing at her wedding next summer and will honor that promise, if she will still have the band play.

On to other things, not better things.

I called a foul on Rick Mahorn

Just back from a wild and whacky trip to Northern Michigan, Metro Detroit, and all points between. Above is a photo of me, famous Detroit Pistons Bad Boy Rick Mahorn and Macker Maniac Tom Cole. I called a foul on Mr. Mahorn. More on that later.

We left Friday afternoon for Traverse City and everything that could go wrong did. It started with terrible traffic around Springfield. The classic "Let's block off an entire lane of interstate highway for no reason" snarled things for about half an hour.

Traffic was bad on I-80/94 so we decided to cut around through Kankakee. It was all good until it started raining sideways, and we couldn't see two feet in front of. We get to the sprawling metropolis of Momence, and there's a freight train backing up traffic for miles.

We ditch the line and head north up Ill. 1 and after bullheadedly refusing to get a map, I finally stop. Permission granted to Shey Fey for shooting me at this point ... anyway we go through Merrillville and of course hit every red light in the history of the world.

We get around Chicago and north of Grand Rapids and by now it's late, really late, as in, we are more than two hours behind schedule. Then it starts raining sideways again near Cadillac.

We went through Buckley at about 2:30 a.m. Not many people can say that. Shey Fey says, "Is there anything north of this place? WHERE THE HECK ARE WE?"

So of course after several wrong turns we finally find the hotel in Traverse City, and there's some sort of nightclub in the hotel and several wedding rehearsal parties and drunk people milling around all over the place. The gal at the counter says, "Oh, your room is above the lounge and the band plays until 2 a.m. tomorrow, sorry about that."

I was too tired to care. The next thing I remember I was parking next to the tournament site about three hours later with no idea where or who I was. Going through three time zones and getting lost in Indiana twice does that to you.

Gus was awesome on Saturday with classic Northern Michigan weather, cool and misty in the morning, sunny and breezy in the afternoon, more mist later in the day. Small tournament but really nice people, highlighted by Rick Mahorn appearing as a guest of major sponsor Great Wolf Lodge.

Mahorn was a member of the infamous Detroit Pistons Bad Boys teams of the late 80s and early 90s, and has the NBA championship rings to prove it. That was a long time ago, because Big Rick doesn't move as well anymore. In fact, Rick doesn't move at all.

We had his team play on Dream Court Saturday and Tom Cole did play by play and at one point I though maybe Mr. Mahorn was going to strangle poor Tom when he said, "Isiah can't help you now Rick. JORDAN RULES! JORDAN RULES!"

Then I call a foul on Mr. Mahorn and he glared at me but fortunately I can still run.

All in good fun, I assure you.

Shey Fey said the band kept her awake for a while Saturday night but after about 9 p.m. I don't remember anything.

Sunday was cool and breezy and misty again, and unfortunately it rained hard near the end of the afternoon, but we got done and lived to tell about it.

Great trip east to Pontiac and Auburn Hills to see family. I am very proud of Kaylee Sullivan!

On the way home last night Shey Fey again interjected sanity and we stayed in Michigan City, in a new hotel by the new Culver's. HUGE. Don't tell anybody in Quincy.

Thanks to Sarah for watching the dogs, Bella and Lucy were overjoyed to see us and were very well cared for.

No more Michigan adventures. Well, at least not until August ....

Another one bites the dust

Stunning revelation here about a local blogger who is not a local but used to be a local.

Heading to Traverse City today to work for Gus. LOOONNNGGGG drive.

Next week I will have some major news about music stuff.

Recovery after Gus

That's me and the legendary Scott (Gus Macker) McNeal at Saturday morning's opening ceremonies. Gus made his 20th consecutive trip to Quincy this weekend, the longest running Gus Macker tournament in the country to my knowledge, and it was a blast as usual.

Scott got the keys to the city from Mayor John Spring and was genuinely humbled. He is one of the most fascinating, high energy and downright positive men I have ever met. He's like a windup toy that never runs out of the juice, an incredible human being.

You are always going to hear the stories about mad parents, kids who misbehave, etc. I saw very little of it and I was all over the place Sunday afternoon after a great two days on Dream Court. Thanks to Don O'Brien and Bill Shuler for helping with announcing games, and SheyFey for being an awesome Dream Court Rally Monkey.

On Sunday afternoon I jumped right into the fray and officiated the championship game on Red A, the youngest division, and these little guys flinging up jumpers on the 8-foot basket were tremendous. It was chaos and actually the biggest issue was an older brother of one of the players who thought he was Bobby Knight. Bobby and I had a little chat near the end of the game. Bobby sat down and didn't say much after that.

On Dream Court the only issue we had was a Quincy High vs. Quincy Notre Dame matchup of macho freshmen and sophomores. You know, you really don't impress me by talking smack after making a basket, or whacking wildly as your man blows past you for a layup. It's the first time I can remember having to come off the stage while doing play by play to officiate and calm things down.

I know they are good kids, but they watch a little too much And 1.

But after that all I saw was great effort and people having a blast. I went down to a 11-12 boys court near the end of the day and officiated a few games and they were a joy to watch and hang out with.

Gus, you were great, as usual. We go to Traverse City this weekend, first time I've been back there since my Alpena News days, and it will be awesome again.

The other guys

It's funny when a guy who claims he doesn't care what the competition does then says with authority what he thinks about the competition.

Nuff said.

Gus Is Just Around The Corner

Don't think we'll need the jackets and sweatshirts this weekend when Gus rolls in for the 20th anniversary of being in Quincy.

Having the Macker crew over in Calftown on Saturday night for staff dinner. It's forced us to clean the house and yard. Which is a good thing.

Come hang out with us this weekend at Fifth and Maine's Dream Court. It's .... dreamy.

Firing Range Fun

To celebrate The Might One's promotion, we had a party for 60 or so of our closest friends at the old firing range on South 12th Saturday night.

HOLY CRAP.

Last night was about the most fun you could have. Playing music should be about having a good time and connecting with your audience no matter what the setting.

You know it's been a good gig when ...

— You bust a guitar string and give it to TMO's grandmother-in-law and she says she's going to start a line of Funions jewelry.

— You can't get out of bed a few hours after you get home. Stupid bleeping back .... Shawn Irvine, here I come Monday morning.

— Officer RosenYates threatens to use handcuffs if you don't participate in bombing the country of Yager. As in, Yager Meiser. I believe it's an island in the Bahamas somewhere.

— You get a request to play "Wipeout" and try to figure it out and then forget to play it anyway.

— You look at all the stuff you have to put away after the gig and suddenly realize, "Wait! We can come back tomorrow!"

— SheyFey and Dirk Jr. are still up at 2 a.m.

— The Queen of Aldo Blvd., Gor Jus MB, sings "Knocking On Heaven's Door" with the band (see the photo up top) and the place comes unglued.

— The amazing Jack Inghram blows everybody away with his sax and TMO's arms threaten to fall off after the last set.

— The gal who just sang "Brown Eyed Girl" with the band looks at you and says "What? You are the neighbor guy? The one WITH THE DOGS?"

— CK just wants to rock and roll all night and it's HUGE!

— TMO sings "Faithfully" and there isn't a dry eye in the place. Well. Maybe that was from some of Quincy's finest and flying debris in the bar area. Just a rumor.

Good grief, what a great time.

Of course this morning I'm trying to clear the cobwebs when reality strikes hard and reminds us it's a big cruel world out there ... click here.

The Funions will be off for a while to regroup. We are thinking about doing a Pub Crawl in July, will keep you posted.

Where's that tube of Ben Gay, anyway?

Let's Go

Summer is starting up, though you'd never know it with all the Calftown people building arks because of the rain ....

Big party tomorrow night for TMO, who adds a stripe and is large and in charge. Congrats Might One!

One week away from Gus Macker in Quincy, one of my favorite weekends of the year. Other cities on the tour this year for Dirk Jr Dream Court are Traverse City, Sheyboygan Wis., Racine Wis. and Lafayette, Ind.

I have no time for a screwed up back. NONE.

Did anybody go see the Kentucky Headhunters last night?

SheyFey's things to do Facebook page continues to rock ....

Things To Do In Quincy

SheyFey got mad there were only a few people at Can Jam Sunday at Turner Hall.

So she decided to do something about it.

She has started a Facebook site called Things To Do In Quincy. What's she found is that there are a lot of things to do, and apparently a lot of people interested in things to do.

Two days after starting it, she has more than 130 people in the group.

Attta girl!

And NEVER say there's nothing to do. You just have to know where to look.

The Balance At The Pig

Local band The Balance played last night at the Blind Pig.

Love the Blind Pig. It's cozy, for sure. In fact, that's the posted limit on number of people you can have in the main room. It's a good thing nobody called the fire department last night because they might have had a few more than 80.

Some of you probably caught the irony in that last sentence. It's great that the guys took over the building and are steadily building a successful business, and I wish them nothing but the best of luck. I would love it if The Funions could play a show there.

The Balance is a really good classic rock cover band. Steve Buckman is the keyboard player and is the bomb. I like the fact they didn't play at ear-splitting volume, a sign of seasoned musicians in the band. Some of the songs they played were awesome (Spooky, Feels Like The First Time, Life In The Fast Lane). Of course they stole a bunch of Funions songs but we will forgive them for that.

It was packed at 8 p.m. when they started and the crowd was their age (experienced, not old!). There were a couple of birthday and anniversary parties so everybody was in a good mood and they were starting to move by the time we left around 9:30.

Speaking of The Funions, we are celebrating TMO's promotion with a little bash this Saturday. We are also working on a couple of really cool ideas for the summer, and may be playing at a wedding reception in July.

And .... congrats to Emily CSI and Steve on their engagement, and The Funions will be in the house in June 2011 for sure!

Rodent and Squirrel Control

So this afternoon after another day of chronicling misery, I take the girls to Woodland for a long walk.

We park at the main entrance, go south to the Mausoleum, head behind the Civil War monument, walk up the path from the City Vault, head to the far north end.

Bella and Lucy then get excited by the Sarah Denman grave. They corner a squirrel, and it momentarily escapes by jumping on top of a big tree stump.

Then, inexplicably, it makes a run for a nearby tree, and doesn't make it.

Bella and Lucy, of course, have a ball playing with the petrified animal, tossing it in the air and shaking it in their mouths.

The poor thing gets away and starts climing up a tree, gets about four feet up, then freezes and does the classic horse ARRRRUMPH from Animal House.

And it drops dead on the spot, landing on the ground with a thud.

Yesterday they caught a mole at Woodland and really, that's a good thing, because moles rip up the ground and are disgusting animals.

I feel a little bit worse about the squirrel. Bella and Lucy are gentle and friendly around people, but get them around those small furry creatures and they go crazy.

Maybe we'll call the caretaker and ask him if he wants to hire Bella and Lucy as squirrel and rodent control officers.

P.S. no stuffed animals were harmed in the photo on top. Well, that's a lie. The stuffing was ripped out and strewn all over the place. But nature is cruel and that's the way it is.

International Monty Python Day

Today is International Monty Python Day. I've been putting Monty Python lines on my Facebook status to celebrate.

When I got a job in the Grand Canyon some 100 years ago, my friend Curtis sent me a tape of two Monty Python albums. I laughed until I cried listening to that tape a million times.

"I'd like to have an argument please."

No you don't ....

Let sleeping dogs lay, er, lie, er, just leave them alone

This is a SheyFey cell phone photo of Bella passed out on the couch this afternoon. She was snoring loudly and enjoying a peaceful Calftown Saturday.

I would make fun of her but I was snoring even louder and likely drooling on the other living room couch. As this is a family-friendly blog, no photos will be shown or small children might start crying.

Ahhhh .... quiet Saturday afternoons. HUGE.

Dam! Big Film

Ahhhhh .... Friday night in the Q-town after a loooonnnngggg work week.

Little happy hour in the hot tub, some Hy-Vee pizza, the Big Dam Film Festival tonight.

Bella did NOT climb up the counter to devour the pizza.

Life is good ....

Miss ya mom ....

It's amazing how you can remember where you were and what you were doing during significant events.

I was interviewing a meth addict in the Adams County Probation Department five years ago today when my mom died. I was in a courtroom covering the sentencing when Phil Carlson of The Whig walked into the courtroom with a message from my brother in Arizona.

I called him from the State's Attorney's office. He told me. I fell on my knees.

I remember walking down Jail Alley and blubbering like a fool. I wrote a horrible story about a bad person. And I went home, and I don't remember much more.

I miss my mother. Every day. She had a great ride for 65 years, but she was retiring from teaching school and looked forward to traveling and spending more time with her grandkids.

My mother was always so dang happy, even when life smacked her upside the head and was really cruel to her.

I can still hear her voice, sing-songing hello on the phone.

I miss her so much. But today I was determined to be happy, for her.

For the most part, it was a good day.

Miss you mom. You are in a better place. I will see you there some day, with any luck.

Friday morning and my back hurts

— Personally, I think the president should stay in Washington, never get out, and just run the country from his office. Or his man cave, if he has wireless.

— Somebody asked if I was going to write a column about this "tea party business." I said, "What are you talking about?"

— Dogwood Weekend, and I have to work. I'm covering the tricycle races Saturday because they are HUGE.

— Sadly, Trinity does not have a float and the band won't be playing tomorrow. We'll give somebody else a chance to win best float.

— The former Herald-Whig Demons softball team made its return to the diamond Thursday night, click here. You know you are getting old when you score from first and are still tired two innings later.

— As noted on my Facebook status, I caught a pop up and now my back hurts.

— Two words for you. HOT TUB. And one more — GLORIOUS.

— Congrats to The Mighty One on his well deserved promotion. He will be playing drums for The Funions at his party May 22. It's his party and he can cry if he wants to dangit.

— Be safe this weekend!

Dangerous Old Lady Dogs

Recovering from the president's visit ....

Walked the dogs this morning and they wouldn't go back across the street. So I called Obama's Riot Police. The dogs didn't like it and claimed they were being persecuted, and Lucy is a Grandmother and Old Lady Dog, so I don't blame them.

But they listened and went back across the street, and everything turned out fine.

Iowa

Up in Fort Madison, Iowa today for President Obama's visit.

Click here for The Whig's blog about the next two days.

Burt Shackleton Is a Vampire

Great time at Rock Against Rape last night, check out SheyFey's pics for more on Facebook here.

As you can see in the above photo, Cheeseburgers singer, keyboardist, sax player and guitarist Burt Shackleton (he also does windows) has an orb on his head. He said he doesn't show up in photos because he thinks he's a vampire.

Well. ORB. HUGE. Maybe we should call Ghost Hunters. Or an exorcist. Go see Burt tonight at Brix, perhaps his fangs will be out. I hope he doesn't bite me in the neck.

Thanks to Sondi at Backwaters, all the bands that donated their time, Quanada, Pat and Warren from Vegas Music for doing sound, everybody who ever lived.

I really liked The Sharrows (top photo), who opened the show. They are two gals from Griggsville who can really sing. It's heartening to see young people playing their own music, and I hope these gals continue to play and make music as much as possible.

Big Show Friday!

Thanks to Jessica Martin at The Whig for helping us promote Rock Against Rape, click here for the story.

Also thanks to Dennis Oliver and Y-101 and Mary Griffith at WTAD for letting us talk about the event on the radio.

It's gonna be great!

Gus Was Great As Usual

Fun fun fun with Gus .... Sunday was awesome, better weather, better Dream Court games, just better.

That's me with my Macker girls, Meg on the left and Knee Cap on the right. Surrounded by greatness, in America's University, no wonder I cried right after this photo was taken!

Took 8 1/2 hours to fly home with the cruise on 75 (except for select spots around Chicago, especially after the Tri-State Tollway where ISP was lurking).

Feel like a truck ran me over, normal the day after working for Gus. Next up - Quincy!

Got a shot for my poison ivy today, right where the sun don't shine. HUUUGGGGEEEE.

Some Stuff Still The Same ....

So I'm in Mount Pleasant working for Gus and it's going to be reaaallllyyy cold tomorrow, but we'll survive.

I loved my college years here at Central and miss this place a lot. I drove into town this morning and couldn't believe how much stuff was on the west end of M-20 coming in.

My old house on Belknap is still there. Walked around campus and noticed the library that looks like a toaster was gone, replaced by a huger version. All kinds of new buildings. Geesh!

But Anspach Hall is still here, and Moore Hall looks really good with the CM Life newspaper offices.

We are doing the tournament in front of Finch Fieldhouse, where I played intramurals. I just figured out I started at Central TWENTY FIVE FREAKING YEARS AGO this fall. God, do I feel old.

Went back to Freddy's for dinner, met my old soccer buddy Kenny Mac for a brew at The Bird, which is twice as big and still a great bar. We used to go there for the free peanuts and cheap beverages, and guess what? It hasn't changed.

I think coming back keeps you young.

RAR Lineup

We are doing radio promos for April 23rd's Rock Against Rape Show. Tuesday at 7:40 a.m. we are on Y-101 with Dennis Oliver and Jeff Dorsey, big local music supporters. Wednesday we are doing the Mary Griffith Show at 9:40 a.m on WTAD.

Here's The Lineup .... Backwaters, $7, all ages!

6 p.m. - The Sharrows
7 p.m. - Cheeks McGee
8 p.m. - The Cheeseburgers
9:15 p.m. - The Funions
10:30 - Fielder

It's gonna be huuuuuuugggggeeee .....

Big Brother & the Holding Co., Gus at CMU

Interviewed Sam Andrew today from Big Brother and the Holding Company, Janis Joplin's original band. BBHC is in Quincy Saturday. I respect Sam and the other original members, still rocking after all these years.

Wish I was in town to see them play, but I'm fleeing north to work for Gus in, SOB, the place where I spent the best 12 years of my life, America's University, CENTRAL MICHIGAN UNIVERSITY. It's gonna be great! I haven't spent a weekend in Mount Pleasant in at least 17, 18 years. We used to have the CMU Fantasy Baseball League draft every year and those were always great weekends.

The thing about working for Gus is that we laugh too much to not have a fun, even though it's a lot of work and a long weekend. The drive home Sunday night won't be fun, either.

All worth it though!

Inspiration

Had a good question this morning at church from a guy who wanted to know where I get ideas for my stories.

It's a constant struggle when you write two columns a week, which might not sound like much, but with all the other things going on it can be tough to come up with a good topic.

I simply don't have enough time to just hang out and find out about the good stuff. And a column is only as good as the subject matter. I've written a lot of bad columns simply because the topic was lame.

So ... always looking for inspiration. Fortunately this week I have a couple of possibilities. That doesn't mean it will be a good column — but getting the idea is often main hurdle.

Rock Against Rape

Next up for The Funions is our second annual Rock Against Rape benefit for Quanada on Friday, April 23. Cheeks McGee, The Cheeseburgers and Fielder join us at Backwaters. We had blast last year and hope it goes well again.

I still think our last show at Turner Hall was one of our best. We'll see what the guys want to do, though I have a feeling we'll really be showcasing Jack and Rock A. Bye.

It'll be fun!

Squished Toad

Today Shey Fey made a grisly discovery when putting the tarp back on the hot tub — a squished toad.

The toad, which I have named Oscar, never had a chance. It was likely smushed when we flipped the lid over to get in on Friday night or Saturday morning. It was rainy and the tarp was wet, a perfect place for Oscar to hang out.

Until he got squished.

You can sort of see the imprint in the photo above. If it doesn't look like a squished toad (Squished Toad is a great name for a band, by the way), tough. It is.

Just don't call PETA on us.

Farewell, Oscar The Squished Toad. We didn't know you until you were compacted to death. Now you are ribbitting with the rest of your toad brothers and sisters in that great tadpole in the sky.

And all we have is a mark on our hot tub lid to remember you by.

Recovery on Easter

Wow did we have fun at Turner Hall Saturday at the Fielder CD Release party.

Couldn't stay late, but people were streaming in all night and the place was jammed to the rafters by the end of the night.

Thanks to Brant, our newest Funions roadie!

Here's a press conference with Logan Kammerer of Fielder after we got done playing. Next time we'll take it outside so the audio is better.

Music Everywhere

Really looking forward to playing at Turner Hall tomorrow at 5 p.m. for the Fielder CD release party. We only have 45 minutes but will make the most of it.

Mark is unavailable so we are borrowing Alex Tappe of Fielder to play bass. We've have a couple of practices and he picked it up right away, even the three or four original songs we are doing. Chris Cornwell will be playing guitar with us too. Might even have a few surprises during our set!

Tons of great music this weekend. A good Detroit band at The Club, country show for the firefighters at QJHS, as always click here for the rundown.

Get out and support live and local music!

Funions To Open For U2 This Summer. Really. Honest.

After considerable negotiations and angst, The Funions have decided to accept the offer of opening for U2 this summer during the Irish band's HUGE summer tour in the U.S.

"Bono said it was OK to bring the dogs. He's a huge border collie fan anyway so it's all working out," Shey Fey said. "And, uh, The Edge is SEXY."

"I think it's great because this will be the first time me and my keyboard won't be hidden behind a big stack of guitar amps," Mighty One said.

"I'll play because my daughter is taking over the family law practice and it's about dang time," sax player Jack Inghram said.

"This means Warren will be in charge of Vegas Music for the summer," drummer Pat Cornwall said. "Oh BLEEP."

"I'll play, but only if U2 will let us jam before and after the show," Rock A. Bye said. "I can show The Edge a thing or two on slide guitar."

I am declining to comment since the two lawyers in the band have advised me against making any statements that may torpedo our big chance.

Thank you ....

A dog and her beer

This is for UDN Dave, who inspired me to blog about beer. UDN Dave needs to get off his ass and blog about beer more often. Just my opinion.

I was in Hy-Vee the other day and bought a six-pack of New Belgium's Mighty Arrow Pale Ale. Yum! New Belgium makes Fat Tire and other awesome beers.

On the label description, it says: "This is our brewed tribute to Arrow, Kim's Aussie/border collie mix who ran "literally" New Belgium for 12 years. When she wasn't patrolling the brewery grounds, she was famous for her office visits. She never met a tummy rub she didn't like. Atta girl Arrow!"

So here is to Arrow and our own Aussie/border collie, Lucy Belle, the best dog ever and Queen of Calftown. Cheers!

Miller Time Rocked

Long work weeks mean long anticipated weekends, which are way too short ....

— Saw an awesome band called The Millers last night at John Wood Community College. First of all, the Mary Ellen Orr Auditorium is a fantastic place to see a show. Secondly, there were maybe 150 people there and that's a shame. It always amazes me how a few of the local blues guys in town bitch and moan about nobody supporting live music, yet when an event like this is put on, it doesn't get much of a crowd. Oh well .... the people who were there gave the band two standing ovations and I've never heard a harmonica player like LD Miller, he was mind-boggling good. It appeared the band of three brothers had a good time playing for us, and I hope JWCC books more shows in the auditorium.

— For your complete WrestleMania 26 breakdown, click here. We are starting to have some fun with the Herald-Whig blogs and I'll be very interested to see what kind of traffic develops.

— Anybody left in your NCAA pool? I have Butler going to the Final Four and will likely win the Hart Family Challenge of Doom if Butler wins today.

— Had an invite to play golf at 8 this morning and invoked the infamous Don Crim "55 Degree" rule. When DC was the sports editor at The Whig many years ago, he wouldn't cover a spring sports event unless the temperature was over 55 degrees. I'll play golf if it's a little cooler than that, but not when the mercury is struggling to get out of the 40s and rain is on the way. Hey - at least it's not snowing, and it's supposed to be 70 degrees by next weekend.

— Good luck to Herald-Whig copy editor Kevin Murphy, who leaves today after six years at the paper. We'll miss his Page 1 design skills and calmness under deadline pressure. Good luck, Murph!

Fielder Press Conference

We had to hire extra security, but we finally got some of the guys from Fielder to do a press conference promoting the HUGE show April 3 at Turner Hall. Lucky The Cat also makes an appearance ... as usual, big props to producer, camera operator, key grip and teleprompter Shey Fey for all her help ....

Billy Exterminates

New favorite show of all time .... Bill The Exterminator. Weds nights 9:30 Central on A&E, click here for more.

Fielder, New Band

Info the big Fielder CD release party here. We are playing at 5 p.m. and will have some surprises in store, more coming in a "press conference" shortly.

Really good blog here by Jess Martin from The Whig. I picked a bad weekend to be working, because I missed a good show at Turner Hall Friday. Then Saturday a new band in town The Balance, featuring our good friend Steve Buckman, played at the Blind Pig Saturday.

Lotsa good music in the Q-Town!

Golf, a beautiful thing

Got out for the first time this season today at Westview and it was glorious.

Good people to play with, good weather, the course is in great shape for the middle of march ... except for brain farts, the golf wasn't horrible either.

Just in time for snow tomorrow. BLECHHHH.

The Dog from The Jerk

If you can tell me the name of Steve Martin's dog in "The Jerk" I will let you walk Lucy and Bella The Destroyer on the next warm spring day.

WARNING: You can't say it out loud on this blog because we are kid- and burned out ex-sports writer-friendly.

Click here for more ....

"We're going to early Mass, too"

Huge interview here with Mighty One, Dirk Jr. and David Wilkins, my long-time friend from GR and a proud Michigan grad. David flew into the Loo Saturday and drove up to Q-Town for the big show.

I will say this about Saturday night's show. There was some initial concern about people sticking around and if they would like what we do, but they were awesome and there were still quite a few people left when we finished, and that was with the time changing the next day too. Fun fun fun and we are still recovering ....

Jack meets Keith Richards

Between sets at the World Parking Lot Tour 2010, Keith Richards (left) meets Funions sax player Jack Inghram in an emotional summit of musical greatness .....

Adam Gets His Funions Shirt

The Mighty One, Funions drummer, keyboard player, harmonica player and vocalist Adam Yates, is officially off Funions Probation ....

Great time at TH birthday party last night, now let's kick off the WORLD PARKING LOT TOUR 2010 tonight at the Elks!

Accidently paid

The Funions are playing a private party Friday night after the Mighty One, Adam Yates, lied and told his cousin we were a good band. This was thrown together late so the lineup tomorrow night is Mighty One on drums, Mark, myself and the incomparable Jack Inghram on keys and sax.

On Saturday Pat will hopefully be back from Colorado to play drums with us at the Elks, moving Adams back to keys, harmonica and vocals. The Elks show is $12 for dinner and the band, or $5 for the band only.

Should be a great rock and roll weekend!

Funions rubbed by India

Funions, Craig Ferguson, David Spade, Dog Attack

No explanation needed ....

Keith Richards at Funions Press Conference

Wow .... Keith Richards may be playing with the Funions Saturday night .... AND exchanging health tips with Jack Inghram!

More Press Conferences

So we are doing press conferences to promote the kickoff of the Funions 2010 World Parking Lot Tour, and I got Greg Ellery to help me out. Thanks Greg!

Gearing Up For Shows

It's been more than four months since The Funions have played a show and we are rarin' to go!

One week from tonight we debut the World Parking Lot Tour 2010 ensemble and let's just say extra security may be required. Our St. Patrick's Day show March 13 at the Elks is $12 for dinner and the band, or $5 at the door for the band only. It's gonna be huuuuggggeee ....

We had a great practice the other night in our old stomping grounds, Mark's basement, and it went really well.

Our band is not about playing songs exactly like the record or being super tight, but when we are prepared I think we do pretty well and people always have fun at our shows.

After the Elks show we play at Fielder's CD release party April 3 and Rock against Rape April 23. These shows will hopefully give us a chance to play a few more original songs and mix it up a bit.

Hope to see you in the Parking Lot this year!

KISS in Cadillac

I just watched the best ESPN piece every, about the rock band KISS appearing in Cadillac, Mich., many years ago.

Click here to watch it.

I drove through Cadillac a hundred times when I lived in Michigan and had no idea. HUUUUGGGGEEEE!

St. Patrick's Show

Our St. Patrick's show at The Elks is a dinner dance. Tickets are $12 and will be available at the door or in advance by calling 217 242-3423. More info later ....

Olympic Hockey Momento

In honor of the Canadians winning gold in both men's and women's hockey, I present the following homemade photograph ...

Beauty way to go .... and I will have a smoke and brew in their honor in the hot tub shortly ....

Shave your head Hoser

So I was on WGEM 1440 this morning, and host Josh Houchins says he will have a maple leaf shaved into the side of the Missouri mullet head if Canada beats the U.S. Sunday.

A beauty way to go ... eh?

By the way, the Canadian women ROCK and I had a beer in their honor after work today.

Pay later? Nope ....

Twice in the past few months I've made major purchases and the store has promised I had one year to pay for the item.

Ooops.

Read the fine print before you sign the purchase agreement. The first retailer sold me a bill of goods and knew the finance company wanted payments right away, but lied to me anyway.

The second place just simply didn't know, and we got things ironed out.

It depends on what you buy, of course, but if a store offers you "same as cash," be careful. If the store deals with a separate finance company, ask the finance company, not the place where you bought the item, about the terms.

Sure, it's buyer beware. So — be aware.

Canada vs. Russia

Huge game tonight, Canada vs. Russia. Winner has the inside track to the gold medal, though I think the U.S. is clearly the favorite now.

Many people say the Amercians beating Canada Sunday was a huge upset. Wrong. They are still riding the Miracle on Ice thing from 30 years, truly one of the greatest moments in sports. There is absolutely no comparison, because this U.S. team is made up of NHL superstars who can beat any team in the world.

Gotta love the Canada-Russia rivalry, brings back memories of the 1972 Summit On Ice. I was living in Montreal at the time and still remember my mother, who was taking classes at McGill University, coming home after the deciding game and talking about the celebration in the downtown streets.

Funions Press Conference

Mark and I had a press conference at the Quincy Elks Lodge Saturday to announce the 2010 World Parking Lot Tour kicking off this March.

First of all, thank you very much to Bill Durst for stocking the shelves behind us while we did the press conference. Nobody stocks shelves like Bill. He is HUGE.

Secondly, thank you to our brothers, The Cheeseburgers, who were playing for a wedding reception in the big room next to us. The Cheeseburgers had the audacity to get paid and play Funions songs people liked and we'll need to have a little chat with Burt and the boys.

Thirdly, never pick your teeth when you are on camera.

Blessed Sacrament Song

This is from the Blessed Sacrament School talent show earlier this month. Guitar prodigy Aaron Smith is featured with our seminal hit sensation "Blessed Sacrament School Rules."

Flight of the Conchords

Emily is a huge fan of this strange duo from New Zealand. We were listening to them on the way to WIU last night and I about drove off the road, not a good idea at the best of times, especially in a blizzard.

Anyway, here they are .... really funny stuff. Shey Fey can't stop laughing either!

Scary Drive

Took the 6-2 freshman back to WIU tonight and its wasn't fun.

The roads were terrible in Quincy and continued to be terrible in Adams County. Then about 20 miles south of Carthage it suddenly stopped snowing and the roads were fine.

On the drive back it was the same thing. The biggest thing on 336 was the wind-blown snow and trying to see the road.

Slow and steady works all the time ... and there was no pot hole between turns 1 and 2.

Brackets, awful love songs, etc.

— Now THIS is a bracket where everybody is a winner ....

— Billboard has named its No. 1 sexiest song, and it is AWFUL .... the video is so bad it's ... just .... hard to watch.

— If you've noticed, we've put up the first shows for The Funions World Parking Lot Tour 2010. The ice breaker is Saturday, March 13, at the Elks for a St. Patrick's Day bash. Reportedly there will be a press conference this weekend, and we may have video up.

— The ice at the South Side pond is still 8 inches thick, but there have been some melting and surface quality issues. Can still hope to hope, I guess.

— Are you going to watch the winter Olympics? Might try to follow the hockey games, but luge results are hardly riveting.

— Nice to have lunch today for the first time in ages with the Sandwich Maker of Doom.

— No football this weekend, boo hoo ....

The Who ROCKS!

Link to a column about The Who here ....

Unstuffing stuffed animals

Lucy is the queen of unstuffing stuffed animals. That means Bella The Destroyer is learning from the best.

It's hilarious when they both grab a leg and growl ferociously at each other.

Anyway, mom went to the Salvation Army, bought $2 stuffed animals and let the girls go nuts. One of them was made of beans and was rescued just in time from Bella's powerful grip.

Big. Dumb. Dog. Not you, Lucy.

P.S. if you look carefully you can see plastic eyeballs strewn about as well.

Smith Boys Rock - UPDATE

Aaron and Brendan Smith ROCKED the Blessed Sacrament School talent show today.

Video coming shortly, or when Sheryl gets up from her "Unemployment Nap."

UPDATE: Video didn't work. Will solicit help from Mother Smith ....

Swiftly off key

Apparently Taylor Swift was off-key at the Grammy Awards the other night.

No. Gasp. Shudder. Unbelievable. Really?

I didn't see it and won't watch it. I have much better things to do, like consoling Bella the Destroyer, who is still mad about not being a border collie.

Apparently Swift couldn't hear in her monitors, leading her to sing off-key with Stevie Nicks.

I'm not saying The Funions are on par with anybody else, and we're just a bunch of goof balls playing music for fun. But I have almost never played a show where I've been able to hear well. Sure, we want to sound good, but the energy is just as important, sometimes even more important.

If you want to see a great band play live, a band that doesn't worry about being on key but more about energy and projecting the song, check out The Who this Sunday at halftime of the Super Bowl.

Maybe Swift will watch and learn a thing or two so when she sings off key again — I'm sure all those studio fixes and Pro Tools can't save her on stage.

Job Hunting

Shey Fey lost her job today. The official phrase was "We are eliminating your position." She worked for a large Quincy manufacturing plant doing Internet technology and computer stuff.

She is not sad about it all. Always the optimist, Sheryl finds upsides for everything. She won't have to deal with the daily grind of her job and she was in a great mood today.

On the downside, this puts a crimp in summer and other vacation plans. If she doesn't find another job soon, and in this economy it won't be easy, we'll have to be very careful with our finances.

I think you are defined by the way you deal with the crap life throws at you.

I define her as a saint and the best thing going for me today.

Moon pic, forgotten growler

The top pic is Lake Michigan in late January ... massive chunks of ice. I tried imagining an August beach day instead and couldn't do it.

The other pic is what they refer to in Hudsonville, Michigan, as a "Front Porch."

Hose Head on the right is drinking a Founders Pale Ale. Hose Head on the right bought a 64 ounce growler of Founders Pale Ale, and left it in Hoser on the left's fridge. Hoser on the right is ticked off and will reclaim growler this summer. Hoser on the left is presumably finishing contents of said growler as we speak.

A great weekend up north, and it's nice to be home.

Mars Hill, Family Jamming

Went to Mars Hill this morning and was blown away how not-church like it is, and how almost every seat in The Shed was filled.

The band got up and rocked out five songs in a row, a pastor made a few announcements, and the speaker got up and spoke, and boom, an hour and 15 minutes went by just like that.

It's uncomplicated and to the point and no wonder Mars Hill is bursting at the seams.

A great stay with Brother David and family, followed by a Hart Boyz jam session on the Lake Michigan bluff.

Back tomorrow. The first thing I'm gonna do is .... HOT TUB!

Moon Walk, GR Hockey

Reportedly The Mighty One was in rare form last night at the Dueling Pianos .....

In Holland yesterday I walked on the moon. That's what the Lake Michigan beach looks like, frozen stretches jutting into the water. It was weird not hearing the waves crash into the beach, total silence while walking on a lunar landscape. Pics coming next week since dumbell here forget his download cord.

Then it was off downtown with the boys to watch the Grand Rapids Griffins play at Van Andel Arena. This isn't the downtown GR I remember, that's for sure, young 20-somethings all over the place. It was $1 beer night so ya, fun fun fun!

It was great to see my old buddy Mike VanderKlipp too. Unfortunately he locked his keys in the car and his wife had to come down to bail him out. Fortunately he's a FoHead for life and used to it. For a minute there I thought we were in the Joe Louis Arena parking lot and it was 1985.

Going back downtown to do some ice skating this afternoon at Rosa Parks Circle, and back to Holland tomorrow for a jam session with the Hart Cousins Boyzzzz .....

North

Heading north after work Thursday for a little R&R and revelry with friends. Among the plans: Grand Rapids Griffins and Founders on Friday night, skating at Rosa Park Circle with the little Harts and Youngsmas, and a Hart Boyz jam session on Lake Michigan Sunday (after church in the old mall).

Figures. The ice has returned and I'm outta here ... hopefully still around next week.

Blues Fan

I am slowly becoming a Blues fan. There. I said it.

Blues fans are long-suffering. Their team struggles to make the playoffs, or has to play the Red Wings or Canucks when they do get in and a few games later it's so long, let's make a tee time.

I like some of the Blues players like David Perron and T.J. Oshie. The Blues have speedy guys like Andy McDonald that tend to get steamrolled when other teams clamp down on defense.

Some players I don't like. Paul Kariya is the most overpaid player in the NHL. The defensemen are solid but have a decided lack of flair and except for Barrett Jackman, couldn't score if they had an open net and nobody around to block the puck.

The Blues need an offensive-minded defenseman, and a pure goal scorer.

They also need killer instinct. Last Saturday against the Ducks they had a 3-0 lead in the third period and went into a shell and choked big time. It's been a distressing trend. Their play at home until this month has also been miserable, but the badly needed coaching change has helped that.

So I'm watching them Calgary tonight and I'm actually hoping they do well and win a tight game.

An added bonus - they have great TV guys. John Kelly is a solid play by play guy (his father, Dan, was one of the best ever) and Darren Pang gets a bit excited sometimes, but knows his stuff. I really like Bernie Federko stationed at the player's bench, that adds a different perspective.

Hey! Perron just scored and it's 2-0. Maybe they will hang on and win.

Saturday List

— Awesome breakfast at Coach House this morning - CHECK.

— Woodland Walk - CHECK.

— Vaccum, laundry, ointment on burned out warts (you REALLY don't want to know), make all three beds — CHECK.

— Stretch strings on Les Paul - CHECK.

— Scritch head of Bella The Destroyer who is sad she is not really a border collie but she's still a bitch .... CHECK.

— Nap...... now ..... dkjfaslkdgha[oweiurtoa[wieur .....

Lack of light

Remember that yellowish orange thing that hangs in the sky? It makes you feel warm and cheers you up.

It has a name, but it’s been nearly two weeks since it’s been out around here. What is this, Seattle?

We need to do something to get the sun out and to start cheering people up around here. I used to think seasonal mood disorder and light deprivation were hooey scientific terms, but I’m beginning to see why they might have some meaning.

If you have some ideas on how to get that big yellowish orange thing to make an appearance, let me know.

Adopted honor

My surrogate mother and father in Quincy, Bob and Anne Mays, rock all the time.

Bob was inducted Wednesday into the Quincy Area Chamber of Commerce Business Hall of Fame. Bob mentioned me as his adopted son during a very funny and to the point speech.

I had to hide behind one of the pillars because I got a tear in my eye ....

God bless you, Bob and Anne!

I sat next to Bob's granddaughter, Sarah Frank, at the luncheon. We started playing the "Dutch Name Game," since Sarah went to Calvin College in Grand Rapids, as did I for one disastrous and foggy year a long, long time ago.

"Look," she said, pointing at some random Quincy business guy in the crowd. "There is Jay VanWingerReimersma!"

I bruised my spleen I laughed so hard.

If you ain't Dutch, you ain't much ....

Happy Birthday, Bad Movie

You know, for being such a big dumb dog, Bella the Destroyer really isn't all that bad.

I can't believe I just said that. Happy birthday, you big dumb dog.

Last night I was ready for bed when one of the 5 million movie channels started showing the horrendous "Point Break" with Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. I got into a discussion with Shey Fey about this and said I thought it was so bad it was good.

"Nope," she said. "Any movie with Kay An You Reeves and Patricks Swayze is just a bad movie, period."

As usual, she is right. But after years of watching bad movies on bad cable with terrible commercials every two minutes, it's nice to actually watch a whole movie without breaks.

I will say this about breaking the cable TV cycle - I can still watch the Blues, a boring NFL playoff game (both games yesterday were awful), Cops and a movie at the same time. My thumb doesn't get tired, either.

Thaw

Farewell to the first good ice of the year .... last year we had a second good freeze and it could happen again.

Some rumblings of future Funions activity. Reportedly a St. Patrick's Day weekend show is planned, and Rock Against Rape is again in the works for April.

The longer I do this and have to write about stuff like this, the more I appreciate Fridays. The end of the day on Friday, especially.

Dog hair — gotta deal with it. Shey Fey is picking hair out of her winter toe socks and arch ankle doo-dad.

It's with much chagrin we admit Bella The Destroyer is probably not Border Collie. It was suggested by Rock A. Bye that she's more English Terrier and Lab, and a little internet research showed it's probably true. Bella is waaaayyyy too dumb to be Border Collie so there's some relief, too.

SHOCKING UPDATE: The 6-2 freshman no longer has a curfew. Gasp. GASP ....

I Hate American Idol

There. I said it. And I feel a lot better about it. More here.

Winter Sun

Awesome time as usual on the South Side pond with the Niemann boys. We took on the neighbors from Timberline and prevailed on chippy ice.

Yes, it's cold, but the sun makes it feel a little better and fortunately there is no wind. Looks like the ice won't be around much longer, sadly, though last year we had a second freeze at the end of January.

Had some fun last night Deadly Weapons style with TMO and Rock A. Bye in Calftown.

Hopefully we'll have Funions updates soon with some upcoming gigs but things are slow right now.

Keep warm Q-Town!

So Long, Gil

Sorry to hear about the passing of well-known former Quincy Police Department officer Gil Feld Thursday.

Visitation is Sunday night at Duker & Haugh, more info here.

The Funions played at Gil's benefit in April 2007 behind America's Best Value Inn. One of the better parking lot shows we've done if memory serves.

Not long ago I was at a Crime Stoppers event and there was Gil in his goofy Panama hat and big old cigar.

Gil would email me once in a while with questions for The Whig's Answers Column. Unlike many of the mundane questions like "why is there light at such and such intersection," Gil always had interesting questions and I enjoyed communicating with him.

Gil is riding his Harley in a much better place now, and we are all better off for having him around.

Winter Wonderland

Thanks to Rev. Dirk, Shey Fey picked up an awesome umbrella from Amazon.com, and we enjoyed snow-free hot tubbing tonight. HUUUUUGGGGGEEE .... Snow everywhere in the Q-Town, be careful out there!

The ice has been awesome on the South Side. Thanks to Corey S. and the boys for letting me hang out. What I've discovered is that another year goes by and I'm at least three steps slower. Awesome pickup game today with the crew.

Reportedly the Grawe gang from Timberline is coming over for a big rematch this weekend.

Went down to St. Charles today for work and rode with a fellow media member. I miss the good old days in Alpena when we all knew each other and hung out. Bigger town, different rules, and I understand that .... but it was nice to have the good company.

America's Team, YOUR Central Michigan University Chippewas are playing in the GMAC Bowl and sadly, the final game of the bowl season is tomorrow night.

Drag Queens

On Facebook, my cousin Natalie just posted a comment about how she "just explained the concept of 'drag queen' to her children and they cannot stop laughing."

NEITHER CAN I!!!!!

Sharp skates

Went to South Park this morning to check out the ice. Put the new blades on for the first time and .... CRAP. Duller than dull. Couldn't get any grip or move at all, and this with a glistening sheet of ice all around.

So I went to Boyers and asked them to sharpen the skate blades again. I brought them there about a month ago and figured I'd be good to go.

I came back a few hours later, picked up the skates and headed out to the South Side Pond Of Doom. Onto the ice and .... beautiful. They cut right through and were perfect. The guy at Boyers didn't charge me anything either when I told him about the first sharpening. He might have lost out on a few bucks but he's a smart businessman, because I'll be back.

Just a warmup today .... big game arranged tomorrow on the South Side and it will be HUGE.

Winter has a way of wearing you down and you gotta find ways to embrace it.

Make the tourists wait

Tell me there is anything better than spending a whole day watching college bowl games ....

— I always pick against the Big 10 in bowl contests. Always. Today's it's coming back to bite me. I cannot stand Ohio State and I still think they stink. There. I feel better ... Poor Northwestern. They deserved to win against a brain-dead Auburn team but got killed by a little kicker.

— Now it's time to watch Central Michigan East play Florida. Why can't I feel sorry for Urban Meyer?

— Watching the East Coast feeds on DirecTV and the commercials from New York are awesome. "Make the tourists wait in line" is the slogan of one NY City company. Nothing says New York like a smug slogan.

— Hey. You can eat Taco Bell and lose weight! Whodda thunk?

— Took the girls to South Park today to check the ice and they happily splashed in the creek for a few minutes. I was worried about them catching frost bite, but they move too fast and have too much fun running around to catch frost bite. The ice is about three or four inches in some spots, not thick enough just yet but the next two days might just make it thick enough to skate.

— But I will probaby bring the water wings with me just in case ....

Haunted Practice

Happy New Year! We leave 2009 with a ghostly Funions practice story from last night ....

We practiced last night at Club Vegas and some really strange stuff happened. The practice itself was awesome and it was the first time all six of us played together since Halloween and we just had a freaking blast.

But ....

"The dead people always come out on New Years," Pat said.

We had just started when a really bad smell started drifting through the room. Normally we all own up to passing gas, especially because every toot during a loud practice qualifies as an ISBD (insidious silent but deadly) toot.

This smell wafted in and out, hovered along the floor, drifted all over the place. Nobody took credit and it was just awful, like something dead was in the room.

We were all looking at each other. Might One says, "I wasn't gonna say nothing." It was really, really, REALLY rank.

A little later we are cranking our way through "Rock and Roll All Night" when Pat's drum monitor, which wasn't turned on, suddenly comes to life and literally blows him off his drum kit.

A few minutes later, the effects on my amp died. I mean they just quit working for absolutely no reason. I turned off the amp, replugged everything in .... nothing. Then a few minutes later it comes back on, again seemingly at random.

Pat says a lot of weird things happen in the building, a former funeral home. I think a lot of this ghost hunting stuff is a bunch of hooey, but if Pat says the ghosts were out and having some fun with us last night .... who am I to disagree?

Slip Slidin Away

Be careful out there, Q-town.

The inch or so of wet snow can really make things slick. I'm going to my car at noon today and stepped off the curb and WHAM the next thing I know I'm down after going ass over tea kettle.

Whatever ass over tea kettle means.

You know it's a spectacular crash when the UPS driver stops the ugly brown truck and asks if you are OK.

Hey. Ever see 5-feet-19-inches crash and burn? It ain't pretty.

I think this is one of those deals that will hurt a lot more tomorrow.

Hot tub therapy and a beverage of choice might help after work. Band practice too! Gotta get somebody to carry all my crap ....

Still hoping ....

Gonna get real cold in the Q-town .... ice by the New Year?

Jane Morris was an awesome interview a couple of weeks ago when she was in town visiting her mom. Jane owns her own theater near Los Angeles and helped start the Second City e.t.c. in Chicago years back. She is funny because she doesn't try to be funny, she just is .... Jane has been in dozens of movies and sitcoms over the years.

Now she just added me as a "friend" on Facebook. I might need to sit down for a second.

Facebook has also helped me connect with my old Alpena buddy Anthony Rothman, who was the sports anchor for WBKB in my first years up there. I miss the fellowship with my fellow media brethren, it just doesn't happen here .... Anyway, Anthony is doing great as a sports guy in Columbus, Ohio.

Might need to make a road trip, AR ....

Fitness

For Christmas, Shey Fey got a three-month pass to a local fitness center.

We went this afternoon and I it will take some getting used to for her. We are used to walking the dogs in the great wide open, not walking around a track in front of a bunch of people.

It's an awesome place but it is sprawling and I can see why some people may be a bit intimidated at first. I've been there many times and it's no big deal to me.

Plus .... Rocky Cola, one of the few sane Web Warriors in this world, was there! HUUUUUGGGEEEE.

And no. I'm not playing roller hockey, Rocky .....

Lotsa iPod

Rev. Dirk just headed back to the Ville after a very nice four-day visit. If he can make it down the Eighth Street hill to Ill. 57, it should be smooth sailing the rest of the way.

Shey Fey got me a 16-gig iPod Nano for Christmas. I don't know what 16 gig means, other than "it holds a lot of stuff." It also has the coolest video camera and it should be fun figuring it out.

I am working this weekend and it was a little strange last night doing a story about a new way to make meth while blasting out Trans-Siberian Orchestra in the newsroom. Some had a merrier Christmas than others ....

This morning's Dirk Jr. Kitchen Catastrophe involved not snapping down the coffee filter and flooding four drawers and the floor with caffeine. Someday Shey Fey will simply snap, I swear.

And the best news of all .... Rev. Dirk has started his prostate cancer treatments and is feeling good. He announced that a new study shows caffeine and beer are good ways to prevent and treat prostate cancer.

Maybe I have a shot against this thing, after all.

Kansas For Christmas

The 6-2 freshman gave me the coolest present ever last night.

She got all the members of Kansas to sign a sheet of music. When it's framed it will hang prominently on the wall in the Man Cave of Doom!

Listening to Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Let me know if there is better Christmas music, though you will lose the argument.

Rev. Dirk made a fantastic meal last night. The 6-2 freshman says, "Man, you are so lucky." She is right as she always is.

The dogs are soaked but happy after a Woodland walk, Shey Fey slumbers peacefully in an afternoon nap, and I'm watching the Christmas Eve rain drive steadily down.

But. Snow. Is. On. The. Way. So we are told.

Rain on Christmas

Blechhh. Just give me a little bit of snow. Please?

My father is here from Louisville making a big dinner tonight. 

Merry Christmas to everybody. Even the bad lawyers out there. Really. It says so in the Bible, you know.

Prayers for ....

Steve Eighinger and family. His father in law passed away from a heart attack Monday.

Tom Miller and family. His sister finally found peace after a long battle with ALS. The Funions played a memorable show at her benefit last year. 

Let it snow

Oh the weather outside is frightful ....

— Gotta love all the Facebook comments about bad driving when it snows.

— Shovel? What shovel? Do we have a shovel?

— Had fun hanging out with Dave Chastain and the Lake Trash Band at The Club last night. Dave and the boys tore it up as usual. I just wish I wasn't so dang old and could stay out later.

— Nice to see Jim Dennis and The Crossing getting things done at the old Calftown church near Ninth and Monroe. 

— Yesterday was one of those hellacious days that never seemed to end but went by quickly at the same time, if you know what I mean. I think this gal was one of the worst to come through Quincy in a long time, ranking up there with the Richard Carr's of this world.

— In much more positive and more important news, Bella The Destroyer likes the snow.

— Supposedly the dish gets set up today. 

— Bowl games start, as well. I will forget about coaches who couldn't care less about loyalty and enjoy the games.

— Be safe on this last weekend before Christmas!

Comcast fired

Shey Fey fired Comcast today after yet another rate increase.

I believe we are looking at DirecTV and another Internet provider.

That means a new email address and some other changes are on the way ....

Perfect Peace

Remembering my brother, Gregory Klaas Hart, on the seventh anniversary of his passing.

I think it was a brave thing. He found peace he'd been longing for. 

He joins his Aunt Anita Hart, who died today near Toronto after fighting cancer. The end could not come soon enough for her.

Aunt Anita and Greg are probably walking along the Georgian Bay shoreline tonight and laughing their heads off.

In tribute, the sun was out all day. Peace to them on a dark December day.

New Baby

Here she is .... the new Epiphone Les Paul Studio.

Melts my amp and purrs on the lower settings. 

More here ....

Kids In The Hall

I just watched a bunch of Kids In The Hall sketches, and it's another reason why Mike Provine's blog is the best in Quincy. No hot air, no anon web warriors, no pictures of old hockey gear .... just some really funny stuff.

Click here to see classic Kids In The Hall sketches. Kids In The Hall was a Lorne Michaels (Saturday Night Live) creation out of Canada and several, Dave Foley especially, became well known later.

The French Canadian skit is especially funny, though you might have to be from Canada to really get the humor. Excuse me, humour ....

No loyalty

Notre Dame hired Brian Kelly to be its next football coach. Click here for more.

Rats. Now a team I despise is coached by a guy who I really liked. But that was a long time ago.

Cincinnati should have known what they were getting into when they hired him away from Central Michigan University three years ago. I was at the last game Kelly coached for the Chippewas. Scott McNeal (Gus Macker) and I high-fived him on the field after CMU beat bitter rival Western Michigan. A month or so later he was the new coach at Cincinnati.

Read the comments from his players. He tells them one thing, but does the other. Nice message sent, coach Kelly. Also, nice little PR move by the school, banning media from attending the team banquet last night.

It's a bidness, obviously. Notre Dame is getting a Catholic guy with an Irish name who has done nothing but win. Maybe he'll turn the Bighting Irish around.

Sorry, coach Kelly. I'll be rooting against you, hard. 

It's just bidness.

Ready!

When it's cold like this, I say .... bring it on!

Unfortunately it's supposed to warm up into the 40s next week. The Pond is still three or four days away from having good ice ... rats.

BTW, those are my old blades in the pic, new ones being sharpened as we speak.

Had a lot of fun at Fuji last night, really cool concept and I highly recommend going. 

Also got icicles in my hair while sitting in the hot tub, a new experience.

Working on some cool Christmas carols for Sunday.

Oh, and yes, the newest member of the family will be officially unveiled soon, so stay tuned.